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Husband from 9 to 5 Page 15
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“This is Nick Delaney you’re talking about?” Jack asked carefully, scrutinizing Molly’s reaction. Again she stiffened.
“Yeah,” Rachel said, sighing. “He was great looking. Realty great looking. And I think I based my whole infatuation on that, instead of things that genuinely counted.”
“That’s the problem with office romances,” Jack said, inordinately pleased for this opportunity to make his point. Given that this was an engagement party for Cindy Cooper and Kyle Prentice, both of whom worked for Barrington, Jack worried that all the ground he thought he’d gained that afternoon with Molly would be lost. So, in the car he’d explained to Molly that, as far as he was concerned, Cindy and Kyle were the exception to the rule. Office romances typically didn’t work out.
Unfortunately, Lucas and Olivia—another set of co-workers who were living in marital bliss—had arrived two minutes after he and Molly, kicking his theories in the teeth again. So when Rachel began to draw the comparison of her failed romance, Jack couldn’t help it, he jumped right in and helped her.
“The thing about office romances,” Jack repeated, making sure he had Molly’s attention as well as Rachel’s, “is that when they’re over, you’re faced with that person every day. You have nowhere to go.”
“Unless, of course, the romance doesn’t sour,” Molly pointed out. Jack noticed her eyes were on Kyle and Cindy as they moved through the crowd greeting their guests.
“I’m not exactly sure how or why ours soured,” Rachel said distantly. “I could have sworn Nick was going to propose. But instead of proposing, he left.” As if realizing she’d said too much or suddenly deciding this wasn’t something she cared to discuss, Rachel didn’t add any more to her explanation. She rose from the wall and began walking toward the French doors leading to the party. “I’m going to see if I can get another glass of champagne,”
When Rachel was gone, Molly faced Jack. “I got the message this afternoon,” she said angrily. “But, if I would have missed it this afternoon, I certainly would have gotten it during your sermon in the car. You don’t have to beat me over the head with a big stick.”
Jack sighed. “I know that. It’s simply incredibly bad luck that we’re thrown into the paths of two richly successful office romances a few hours after I told you I didn’t want to be involved with you because office romances don’t work out.”
“Yeah, that’s really, really bad luck,” Molly agreed, though she was staring at Lucas and Olivia. She had a halfdreamy, half-angry expression in her eyes as if to say she had no choice but to go along with Jack’s wishes but she didn’t believe his theories for one minute.
“Olivia and Lucas are the exception to the rule.” Jack said, himself getting a little perturbed. “And I’m not even sure we can count them because Lucas didn’t technically work for Barrington. Olivia and Lucas didn’t have to worry about the ramifications if their relationship failed. Everybody knew Lucas could leave any time he wanted to.”
“I get it, Jack, Molly said, her irritation obvious.
But Jack wasn’t entirely sure she did get it. And she had to get it or they couldn’t work together. If this madness went on much longer, he wouldn’t survive.
“And if you think about it, Cindy and Kyle are different, too.”
Molly narrowed her eyes at him.
“Kyle didn’t notice Cindy until she completely forgot about him.”
Her eyes thinned into slits. “Are you insinuating that I chased you?”
“No! No!” Jack protested. “I only want to make sure you understand office romances typically don’t work out.”
Molly stared at him for a long time. When she spoke, it was softly, accusingly. “I told you several times already that I understood what you were telling me. You know me well enough to know I’m not stupid or stubborn. So, since we both know I understood what you were driving at the first time you said it, I can’t help but wonder who you’re trying to convince, Jack, me or yourself?”
A hot denial sprang to his lips, but it wouldn’t seem to come out Jack knew she wasn’t confused. He also knew she had a point. He’d drilled his reasoning into her head in several different ways. He shouldn’t have insulted her intelligence by thinking that two lucky romances would somehow turn her head. In fact, he knew they wouldn’t. Over the past few weeks, she’d proven herself far too pragmatic for that.
So who was he trying to convince?
Certainly not himself...
Was he?
He looked down into her beautiful hazel eyes, the bright spots of color on cheeks flushed from the cool night, the wide sweep of her mouth. One month ago they couldn’t hold a conversation beyond good morning and good afternoon. Now they were arguing about relationships, sharing their secrets and dreams and falling passionately in love with one another.
And that’s whom he was trying to convince. The God or the destiny that kept throwing them together. He wasn’t an unreasonable man and she wasn’t an unreasonable woman. So why the hell was this so hard to fight?
He took a step forward and gathered her into his arms, for a few seconds relishing the feeling of her, then he bent his head and kissed her.
As always, the desire hit him like a tidal wave. Fresh, unexpected and all consuming. At first, he merely savored all the feelings, then reality crept in. He couldn’t resist her because he wanted her. And he couldn’t stop wanting her. It was that simple.
But for Molly none of it was simple. It was complicated and difficult She knew he wanted her. She also recognized he was starting to acknowledge to himself that he wanted her. The hunger in his kiss was undeniable. But there was also an incredible hesitation.
And that was the part she didn’t understand. They were two unattached adults with an extraordinary passion for one another, but he refused to give in. She didn’t buy his excuse about office romances. What she and Jack felt for each other was too strong, too all consuming to believe it was a flicker that would die. Given their friendship, Molly knew they were well on their way to falling in love—genuinely, deeply passionately in love—but he refused to accept it.
Maybe he couldn’t.
She hadn’t forgotten that he’d had a first wife. A woman he’d loved and lost. A woman he’d mourned for five years... Five long years.
He took one final taste of her mouth and pulled away. Molly felt a swell of regret, but she wasn’t pushing. Not only was pushing wrong, but she knew it wouldn’t work. Whatever his problem she couldn’t force him to love her.
He had to come to her on his own.
“I think that proves we can’t work together,” he whispered, though it must have been difficult because his throat sounded tight.
She waited. Half of her believed he was a smart enough man to throw in the towel when he was losing the battle. The other half realized she didn’t know enough about Jack Cavanaugh to make any kind of guesses. After all, they’d worked together for four years and she hadn’t known he had seven brothers and sisters, a big unfurnished house and an empty life because his college sweetheart had died. Four years of believing they were perfect for one another meant nothing up against reality. And she wouldn’t be so foolish as to second-guess him again.
When so much time passed with Jack only staring at her in confusion, Molly’s chest tightened. He looked so torn, it was painful.
Another thirty seconds passed and Molly went from being hopeful to being resigned. He just couldn’t take those final steps and she couldn’t take the torture of bouncing between denial and hopefulness. How could she continue to hope that somehow, someday, he’d change, when he obviously didn’t want to.
“I think it would be best if I got a transfer,” she whispered, swallowing the lump that formed in her throat just from the words.
But if she expected—or even hoped—Jack would contradict her, she would have been very disappointed because he said, “Maybe it would be best if we tried to work our way out of each other’s lives completely.”
If a heart could
splinter into a thousand pieces, Molly knew hers had. Realizing she’d correctly interpreted his indecision, a sense of finality and futility swamped her. He didn’t want to work with her, didn’t even want to be around her.
And she didn’t have a damned clue why, except that he was clinging to the flimsy reason that he didn’t believe in office romances.
“I’ll meet with Patricia first thing Monday morning,” Molly said, her voice hoarse from the effort of holding back tears. “I’m sure she can find a department for me, so that we won’t have to deal with each other again.”
Chapter Fifteen
In her mind, and even in her heart, Molly knew he was right. If he couldn’t take the final steps he needed to take, then he didn’t love her and she shouldn’t be around him. But having the presence of mind to rationalize that this decision was for the best didn’t help. It didn’t help at all. Her entire body ached. Pain and sadness invaded every part of her. She stayed in bed all day Saturday and most of Sunday. But Sunday afternoon, in her kitchen to get a drink of water, she saw a package from her parents sitting on the table. Reluctant and somewhat spooked—because she didn’t remember seeing it in Saturday’s mail—she pulled the easy-open string.
This time there was one tape. Loosely bundled in bubble wrap, the single cassette fell into her hands.
“The Seed of Opportunity,” she said, reading the title. “Dominic and Darcy Doyle show you how you can take life’s disappointments, failures and even tragedies and transform them into opportunities.”
Though she wasn’t quite sure why, the absurdity of it appealed to her...or maybe it was the coincidence...and she began to laugh. Right on time, as if her mother knew she’d be losing her confidence, the tape had arrived.
Suddenly overcome with a surge of love, Molly sank to one of her kitchen chairs. If nothing else had come of this Jack Cavanaugh fiasco, Molly knew her parents loved her. Exactly as she was. Success, failure or whatever she turned out to be.
Because she knew they loved her, she also decided she should listen to their tape.
“What do you mean you want to transfer to another department?” Patricia asked in disbelief. “What department, for Pete’s sake? You were made for public relations and advertising.”
“So was Jack Cavanaugh,” Molly pointed out politely. It was already four-thirty on Monday afternoon. One crisis after another had kept her from coming down to personnel, but now that she was here she felt as if a weight had been lifted from her shoulders. Transferring was definitely the right thing to do.
“And since he got to Barrington’s advertising and public relations department first, it’s up to me to find another place to go.”
“But why?” Patricia wailed.
“Patricia, Jack wants me to transfer.”
Shocked, Patricia gasped. “No way! Your performance appraisals from him have always been superior. I can’t believe he wants you to transfer.”
“Well, he does,” Molly said firmly. “And I’m going to oblige him. As of today, I want you to find me another position in Barrington.”
“Absolutely not.”
Molly couldn’t help herself; she laughed. “Patricia, you don’t have a say in this. I don’t want to stay in advertising anymore and Jack wants me out.”
“That can’t be true. My God, you don’t give someone a superior rating for four years and then kick them out. What have you done? What could you have possibly done?”
For thirty seconds, Molly picked at imaginary lint on her skirt, then she drew a long breath and determined that Patricia deserved the truth. Over the past few months, she’d become a regular part of the Barrington group. She’d even come to Jack’s home when Molly had amnesia. But though Molly didn’t plan on sharing this information with any of her other friends because as far as anyone knew she’d lost her crush on Jack Cavanaugh, Patricia was more involved than anyone else because of her position in the company, and Molly knew she had to be honest.
“Jack and I have this little chemistry problem. Ever since my amnesia, when I...uh...” she said, then cleared her throat. “When I did things like kiss him and hug him, and in general put us into close proximity, I set things in motion for us to realize that we’re physically attracted.”
Patricia’s brow furrowed. “So?”
“So he doesn’t want to be physically attracted to me.” Jack hadn’t precisely told her that, but since it was the logical conclusion to be drawn, Molly had drawn it. “Every time we’re alone we say things we probably shouldn’t say. We tell each other secrets that were probably better left hidden. That sharing usually ends up with us sharing a kiss, and every time he kisses me, he gets mad. He might be attracted to me, he might even like me, but he doesn’t love me and...” Again, Jack hadn’t told her this, but she’d pretty much figured it out on her own. “And because he doesn’t love me, he’s awkward being attracted to me. I’m tired of him being mad. I’m tired of us having difficulty working together. I told him I would transfer, and he agreed.”
“That’s ridiculous.”
It wasn’t like Patricia to argue. Generally reserved, usually kind, Patricia made a wonderful human resources person because her personality allowed her to get along with nearly everybody. Today she wasn’t anything like the Patricia who had endeared herself to the other women of Barrington.
“I mean I understand what you’re telling me,” Patricia said in a quieter, nicer tone. “Because you and Jack are attracted to one another it’s difficult to work together. But I don’t think the problem is that Jack doesn’t like you. I think the problem is that he does like you.”
Molly shook her head, wondering why Patricia didn’t realize she’d thought of all these avenues, but she’d disregarded them because she couldn’t take the pain anymore. There were only so many times a woman could be rejected by the same man before she had to smarten up. No matter how much it hurt.
“I’m not arguing that Jack likes me,” Molly said softly, trying to hide the rawness of her emotions, and hoping Patricia wouldn’t push anymore because the discussion was only reopening the wounds. “He does. I’m sure he does. But he doesn’t love me. And he doesn’t think he can love me. Patricia, you probably don’t know this, but Jack was married before and he was very much in love with his wife. He doesn’t seem to want another woman and he certainly doesn’t seem to want to fall in love again. And I’m not hanging around like some lovesick puppy. I want to get on with the rest of my life.”
“Listening to your mother’s tapes again?” Patricia asked, one eyebrow raised.
Molly laughed in spite of her pain. “Actually, yes. But the tapes didn’t have any bearing on this decision. Like any good mother, mine gave me her opinion...albeit it on a tape. But I made up my own mind.” She paused, sighed heavily. “Patricia, if a man didn’t want you around, would you stay?”
“No,” Patricia agreed with her own sigh. “I suppose not.”
“But you still don’t agree with me.”
“Damn it, Molly,” Patricia said, uncharacteristically angry. “It just doesn’t feel right. The man likes you. I know he does. I saw his cheek twitch when Mike the mailman asked you to dance the other night. To me that’s jealousy. Instead of backing away like this, I think you should be going after him.”
Molly gasped at the thought. “I’ve had enough embarrassment to last a lifetime, thank you. Just transfer me out, please, while I can still leave with some of my dignity.”
“Oh, Molly,” Patricia said sadly, reaching for her book of open positions at Barrington. “This doesn’t feel right”
“It does to me,” Molly said. “And if you were me, you’d be doing the same thing.”
Patricia thumbed through the book of open assignments for a few seconds, then she bit her bottom lip and glanced up at Molly. “I’m not so sure I would be doing the same thing.”
Confused, Molly stared at her.
“This morning I overheard Sam on the phone. I don’t know with whom he was speaking, but whoever
it was, it was someone with whom he is very familiar.”
“So, Sam has a lot of friends....”
Patricia shook her head furiously. “This is different. This is a woman. I can hear it in the way he speaks...and I think he’s—I think he’s going to propose to her.”
Molly heard the break in Patricia’s voice. She knew her friend had been in love with her boss, Sam, for months. “Oh, Patricia, I’m sorry.”
“I guess that’s why I feel as strongly as I do. You know this thing with Jack could go either way. He could be pushing you away because—like you think—he doesn’t think he could love you. Or it could be that he knows he could love you and he’s afraid.”
“Jack’s too smart for that,” Molly said, wishing Patricia would leave it alone because she was tempting Molly to try again, when she knew it was fruitless, pointless. “He’s too logical.”
“When it comes to love, nobody’s cornered the market on logic,” Patricia disagreed firmly. “I’m not saying Jack’s witless, but I am saying nobody’s. perfect. And I think you’re wrong to bail. If I had even one thread of hope, I’d never walk away from Sam.”
“Patricia, it’s over. I should have transferred out after the amnesia fiasco. Because I didn’t, I made matters worse.” She paused, thought for a minute, then drew a long breath for courage. Her mother was right. Sometimes a problem is life’s way of forcing you to see you’re going in the wrong direction. “Give me a temporary transfer,” she said suddenly. “Put me back in the steno pool if you want.”
Patricia looked at her. “I don’t understand.”
“I’m giving you my two-week notice. It’s time to start fresh. Maybe the seed of opportunity in this Jack Cavanaugh problem is that I’m finally seeing it’s time for me to leave. For good. It’s time for me to find my real place in the world—without Jack Cavanaugh.”
Because she didn’t want to have to go back to work in the advertising department in the morning, Molly waited in personnel until Patricia had finalized all the paperwork that would put her in the leasing department the following day. Since it was nearly six before they were done, Molly decided to get everything out of the way now so she wouldn’t have to face Jack ever again. She got in the elevator, rode to her floor and strode to her office to pack her things.