Milllionaire Dad, Nanny Needed! Page 7

  “Honey, I’m not blind. In the past year, you’ve sunk into the doldrums. It’s time to come back to the land of the living. Have some fun.”

  She took a breath, let it out slowly. Was she so sad-looking that even a man who was grieving felt sorry for her?

  Great. That made her feel just peachy.

  “Once Dominic has a nanny, I’ll take a long, hard look at my life.”

  “Okay.” Audra’s mom reached into her dress pocket and pulled out an envelope. “I’m not just here to harass you,” she said as she handed the envelope to Audra. “From Dominic.”

  Audra’s voice dropped an octave. “Oh.”

  “I’m guessing this is your way to get the Wedding Belles out of trouble.”

  She caught her mother’s gaze. “But he already gave me the check.”

  “He told me to tell you that he’s giving you the second installment early.”

  Audra stared at the check. “He doesn’t want me to back out.”

  “Why would you?”

  “He hasn’t exactly been there for Joshua. And I sort of push him. I have to remind him to even pop into the nursery to say hello. Forget about helping with bath time or bedtime. Once or twice he’s come in, but as a general rule, he forgets.”

  “Because he’s busy, but also that’s what he knows. Dominic and Peter were both raised by nannies. It’s what people with money frequently do. You shouldn’t interfere. Especially not if it makes him feel even worse than he already does over the loss of his brother.”

  “I get it.”

  “Okay. So no more pushing. Go put your check in the bank, save the Belles and be happy.”

  Audra laughed. There was that word. Happy. She rose from the seat and walked around the table to kiss her cheek. “Thanks, Mom.”

  But she seriously wondered if she would ever be happy again. She seriously wondered if she was even meant to be.

  CHAPTER SEVEN

  IN SPITE of the mother’s suggestion that Audra needed to be kinder to Dominic, when he went out with his friends that night, she was so angry with him that she could have spit nails. How had this run-around fooled everybody into thinking he was a sad, lonely guy? Especially her astute mother? He might be grieving the loss of his brother. He might even be overwhelmed with work. But he always seemed to have time for fun. And as for needing to whisk her away? Huh! He seemed to be able to work entertainment into his life just fine without her. And his “whisk her away” line was exactly that. A line. A come-on.

  She fell into a fitful sleep and awakened at two o’clock, thinking Joshua had cried for his middle-of-the-night feeding. When she walked to the crib, she found the baby sound asleep. Realizing her body was so attuned to the wake-up call that now she was getting up before Joshua cried, she waited a few minutes for him to stir. When he didn’t, her heart swelled with hope. Maybe the baby was finally adjusting to the strange house, strange crib and strange people now caring for him.

  She crawled back under the covers and closed her eyes, but sleep wouldn’t come. Whipping back the blankets, she rolled out of bed and went to the kitchen for something to help her relax.

  Familiar with the cabinets, she walked directly to the one housing the cocoa, pulled the syrup from the cupboard and went in search of a microwave-safe mug. Just as she hit the start button to heat the milk and chocolate she’d mixed, the kitchen door swung open and Dominic burst in, his chiseled face drawn in serious lines, looking like a guy about to confront an intruder.

  “Oh, it’s you.”

  He was so sexy in a tux that no matter how angry she was with him, the female in her simply couldn’t stifle the flutter in her tummy. She allowed herself the small tingle of appreciation just looking at him gave her. Then she realized he’d heard her noise and investigated, and she laughed. “You thought a burglar got thirsty, didn’t you?”

  His confront-the-intruder tension now gone, he strolled into the room. “I don’t know what I thought. I heard a noise as I entered the foyer. I’m not accustomed to having someone in the house prowling around in the middle of the night.”

  “Because you haven’t yet become accustomed to having a baby. If you’d spent more time with Joshua, you’d remember you hired a nanny and that said nanny will be prowling around at all hours.”

  He snorted a laugh. “Right. As if it’s that simple to unlearn thirty-six years of behavior.”

  “You could if you tried,” Audra insisted, though her mother’s words about Dominic only living what he knew haunted her.

  “I don’t think so,” he said equally confident. “I wasn’t the one who prepared for this baby for nine months. I wasn’t even supposed to be the one who raised him when his parents died. Marsha’s mother was.”

  “Maybe you haven’t been prepping for this, but you were learning. Yet you didn’t even come into the nursery to say hello today.”

  The microwave buzzer sounded. Audra reached in for her cocoa. Slamming the door closed she added, “Even if you never change a diaper or dress him again. You still need to come in and say hello in the morning and good night in the evening.”

  “When I’m home and not busy, yes, I will do that.”

  She shook her head. “This isn’t a matter of doing things when convenient. This is important. My dad died when I was a little girl and I grew up understanding that my mom didn’t have a lot of time for me, but she still made some time. And I’ll bet your busy dad made some time for you, too. Maybe not entire days. Maybe not hours at a clip. But I’m sure he said hello and goodbye. Asked about your grades and baseball games. Checked in with you every day.”

  “He did, but any real time he had went to Peter. Peter was the one being groomed to take over the business.” He caught her gaze. “And before you start overanalyzing that, I’ll tell you that I accepted that, too. I respond very well to reason and logic.”

  “You just made my point. You’re looking at your relationship as if Joshua is you in your dad’s life. But he’s not. He’s Peter. Joshua’s the one who’s going to take over the family business. You have to treat him the way your dad treated Peter.”

  The expression on Dominic’s face crumbled into one of confusion. “The kid is six months old.”

  “Doesn’t matter. The bonding starts now.”

  He groaned.

  Audra grinned triumphantly and issued the challenge. “If you really take your role seriously, you have to raise Joshua the way Peter was raised.”

  He stared at her, clearly confronted by something he couldn’t explain away, not even to himself. After a few seconds he half laughed. “Even though my dad was fairly decent with Peter, he’s not the kind of dad a smart guy copies.”

  “Then just do what comes naturally.”

  “Right.” He shook his head. “What has always come naturally to me is schmoozing.” He glanced around the kitchen, as if disoriented. “But I’m even losing that. I’m so focused on spreadsheets and expansion plans that I sometimes forget how to make simple conversation. I had a miserable time tonight. I can’t even remember what fun feels like.”

  “The world is sort of turned upside down?”

  He caught her gaze. “Yes.”

  She opened her arms and spread her hands. “Look who you’re talking to. I can’t remember what it feels like to be happy. You want to hear about a world turned upside down? I stood in the back of a church, sequins sparkling and bouquet in hand, ready to commit to someone who didn’t even have the courtesy to call my cell and tell me he’d changed his mind. In one short hour I went from believing my life was perfect to being rejected and wondering how I’d get through the next day.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  Though others had sympathized, Audra had never believed anybody understood what had happened to her life, her heart, her soul…her everything until Dominic. One event had changed his entire life, too. They had both lost not just a love or a brother. They’d lost the future they’d envisioned awaited them—a future they knew how to deal with—and were forced i
nto a life that some days didn’t even make sense.

  She took a breath. “Thank you for the sentiment, but you weren’t at fault.”

  “Maybe I’m apologizing on behalf of rich bad boys everywhere who should know better than to trick some nice girl into thinking we’ll settle down.”

  A delighted giggle burst from Audra. A year ago she might have agreed he should apologize, if only on principle. But time and distance really had given her perspective enough that he’d made her laugh.

  He smiled. “See, that’s the kind of stuff I used to be good at. Making people laugh. Making them feel good. Now everybody wants me to be serious. Smart.” He shook his head. “I think a few of the people on the board would like me better if I’d rant and rave.”

  “So save your sense of humor for Joshua. It’s really very easy to make a baby laugh and like you. All you have to do is tickle his tummy. You can recite the Declaration of Independence while you’re tickling. It doesn’t matter what you say, he only wants to hear your voice.”

  Dominic rubbed his hand across the back of his neck. “Audra, even if I did believe you, I don’t have time.”

  She started to speak, but he held up a hand to stop her.

  “Before you remind me that I made time to go out, the biggest reason I’m not having fun is that I’ve been entertaining business asso-ciates—doing the job I used to do for Peter. I might not be the fun guy I used to be, but I still have to soften up the people I need to do business with so they’re predisposed to trust me and do the deals I need done. What everybody seems to forget is that this—schmoozing—was my job for the company. When Peter died I was waiting in the wings to replace him. When I replaced him, no one stepped up to do my job.”

  “So maybe you need to hire a schmoozer?”

  ***

  Dominic blinked. Rather than feel sorry for him, once again Audra had challenged him. He wanted to wallow. She kept nudging him to answers. But she didn’t have every piece of the puzzle.

  “You have a simplistic view of the world.”

  She shrugged. “I think you have a skewed view of the world. Not everything’s black-and-white.”

  “Then it appears that we have to agree to disagree.”

  “I’ll accept that, if you can answer one question for me.”

  “Anything to get to bed.”

  “What did Peter do with Joshua? How was he involved in his life?”

  Dominic drew a quiet breath. “I didn’t live with Peter so I don’t know.” But he did know. He saw Peter with Joshua every time the family got together. He’d heard stories from Marsha about Peter getting up for two-o’clock feedings and changing diapers.

  “Make an educated guess.”

  “Okay,” he said, getting angry now. “What if he was doing exactly as you said, bonding over simple daily things like feedings and diapers? He might have had a business to run and a family to squeeze in, but he had a wife to help him and he had me.” Fury unexpectedly roared through him. Rage so hot and so bitter it burned in his blood. “Everybody sees what Peter did. Even I do.”

  He fought the hatred for the brother he’d always loved, but it boiled like a witch’s cauldron. The thing he didn’t want to acknowledge burst inside him, refusing to be ignored. Even though Peter saved Dominic from their own dad, nobody had had to save Peter. Their father had loved him.

  “But I’m doing both of our jobs now. Peter was an ace. No question about it. At one job. I’d like to see him do both.” He turned to the door. “Drink your cocoa before it gets cold.”

  Slapping his hands on the swinging door, he strode through, not allowing himself to finish the conversation in his mind. He didn’t want to be angry with Peter. He had adored his brother. He didn’t want to be suffocating under the weight of his life. But he was. He wasn’t called to do this. His dad had told him time and again he was meant to be the guy on the sidelines. Second best. So he’d adjusted.

  And now he couldn’t do the things Peter did with ease, which was why he didn’t want to raise Peter’s son. He wanted to watch Peter enjoy the little boy he’d brought into the world. He wanted to see Peter slowly introduce Joshua to the business that was the family heritage. He wanted everything to go back to the way it was. And nothing Audra could say would change that. He was done hearing her try.

  But she scrambled through the door right behind him. “Don’t run when you’re finally getting to the truth!”

  He whirled to face her, so angry heat emanated from him. “What I think you’re missing is that this is none of your business.”

  “And what I think you’re missing is that I understand exactly what you’re telling me. The real bottom line is that you feel inadequate.”

  “And you understand because you felt inadequate when you were left at the altar?” he mocked.

  But it didn’t deter her. Instead she stepped into his space again, crowding him, confronting him, forcing him to face demons he wanted to pretend didn’t exist. “What else do you think I would feel? Basically, the man I loved told me I wasn’t good enough. What we had wasn’t important. Having children with me wasn’t an incentive to settle down.”

  Their situations were worlds apart. It amazed him she couldn’t see that. “That’s not how to look at it, Audra. He wasn’t running from you. He simply couldn’t let go of his lifestyle because it’s who he was.”

  “Oh, yeah? Then why’d he marry somebody else?”

  For a few seconds Dominic absorbed that, because it didn’t make sense. Try as he might to reassemble the words or think through the concepts to find the inherent logic, he couldn’t force it to make sense. “He married somebody else?”

  “Yes. And he bought a big house in the country. And according to our mutual friends he’s in wedded bliss.” That was the part that hurt Audra the most. She could see David marrying somebody on a whim. She could also see him buying a huge mansion to play house with the new “love” in his life. But when she heard through the grapevine that he loved his new life and wanted children, a knife had twisted in her heart. David wasn’t afraid of marriage. He simply hadn’t wanted to be married to her.

  She took a cleansing breath and stepped back, away from Dominic. “Sorry.”

  “No, I’m sorry.” His voice softened.

  “Don’t be.” She tried to muster some righteous indignation so she could at least appear strong. She couldn’t. Instead she licked her lips and forged on—for Joshua. “We’re both in the same boat. You feel inadequate because you can’t do all the jobs thrust on you and you have to listen to people praise your brother, knowing his load was lighter. I feel inadequate because my fiancé left me, then married someone sort of like me but different enough to make me feel I could have been her if I had tried just a little bit harder.”

  She swallowed. Told herself to move off her fiancé and get back to Joshua. But the suffocating sense of inadequacy couldn’t be shaken, and, being with someone who understood, she longed to just let it all out.

  Dominic stepped close again. “Whoever your fiancé was, he was an ass.”

  Audra laughed in spite of herself. “Don’t. You don’t have to make fun of him to make me feel better.”

  “No. I don’t. You’re a smart, beautiful woman. You most certainly don’t need a man who didn’t appreciate that.”

  Sliding his hand under the hair at her nape, he pulled her an inch closer and angled her head so he could kiss her.

  When his lips touched hers, the breath froze in Audra’s lungs, the blood in her veins stopped moving. He slanted his mouth over hers, coaxing her back to life, and everything inside her seemed to melt with longing. Her hands slid up his arms, absorbing the smooth feel of his tux and stopped on his shoulders as he nudged her against him.

  Though Audra had genuinely believed she shouldn’t get involved with him, the pieces of his life—his personality—that he’d shown her tonight caused her to reconsider that. He might seem like the prince in the ivory tower she had believed him to be, but he was actually
a real person, and she was tasting him, holding him. And from his kiss she could tell he didn’t merely consider her the woman caring for his child. She was a person, too. There was more between them than the job she held in his life. They had a connection.

  But just when the kiss would have become interesting, would have passed the boundary from emotional to sexual, Dominic pulled away. He stared at her for a few seconds and then took a step back.

  Gazing into her eyes, he said, “Sorry.”

  Audra took a breath. Not quite sure what to say. Suddenly everything between them was different.

  But she didn’t have to say anything. Dominic had turned and left her standing alone in the silent corridor.

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  AUDRA FELT the air virtually crackle when Dominic entered the nursery the next morning. One simple kiss had changed everything. They’d connected when they both knew they shouldn’t have. He’d said he wasn’t going to flirt with her anymore, but when they’d talked openly and honestly about things they couldn’t tell anybody else, he hadn’t had to flirt. They’d connected and he hadn’t been able to help kissing her.

  Worse, she kept getting signals that she’d misjudged him. Not only did he at least try to be in Johsua’s life when his time was so limited, but also he worried he couldn’t be a good father because he didn’t have an example to follow. From the way he agonized over his new roles for his family, there was clearly more to him than there had been to David. Categorizing him with her ex suddenly seemed horribly inappropriate.

  He set two mugs of coffee on the dresser by the changing table, and took Joshua from her arms.

  “Okay. I might not like what you said to me last night. But I heard it.” He glanced around the nursery as if seeing it for the first time. “Even though I have no idea how to be a dad, I do love him.” He caught her gaze. “Already.”

  She smiled, her heart swelling with affection for him and the renewed belief that he was nothing like her ex. “That’s great.”

  He snorted a laugh. “Yeah, we’ll see how great it is as I fumble my way through the morning routine.” He took a breath. “What do I do?”