Maid for the Single Dad Read online

  He swallowed as intimate pictures formed in his brain, surprising him with their simplicity and intensity. He wanted this woman in a way he hadn’t wanted a woman in a long, long time. Not just sexually, but intimately. There was definitely a difference. A frightening difference.

  She gasped as if suddenly thinking of something. “You’ve probably never been to the mall.” She laughed merrily. “Trust me. Lacy will love it. And I swear I’ll guide you along the whole way.”

  Trust her. That was the problem. He wanted to trust her. But he knew he couldn’t. At least not with his heart. But maybe the best way to get over his desire would be to get to know her as a normal person. Take her up on her offer with Lacy. Not to acquiesce to what she wanted, but to put her into the position of nanny more firmly. Surely he could risk one day. Especially if he stationed bodyguards in the mall.

  “Should I come home early for this?”

  Her eyes lit with joy. “Really? You’re going to do it?”

  “Sure.”

  “You don’t have to come home early. Just be ready to put on a pair of jeans and a T-shirt when you get home.” She headed for the house but faced him again and smiled. “And we’ll take the suburban. That’s the car that will attract the least attention.”

  “If we really wanted to blend, we should take yours.”

  That seemed to tickle her and she laughed with delight. “You probably couldn’t fit into the front seat.”

  Then she turned and walked up the stairs, into the house. Mac lowered himself to one of the chaise lounges. He couldn’t believe he’d just agreed to a trip to the mall, but he had. Partially because she was right: Lacy would love it. Partially because it was simply fun to see Ellie so happy, so full of life. She was the kind of woman who would make a happy home. The kind of woman any man would want for a wife.

  He ran his hand down his face again, wishing he’d met her before his ex-wife had destroyed his faith in people.

  And before a former boss had destroyed hers.

  CHAPTER SEVEN

  SITTING in the driver’s seat of the suburban, wearing a yellow fishing hat, one of his golf shirts and cutoff jean shorts, Mac felt like a damned fool.

  “This is a stupid idea.”

  Ellie peeked over at him and, God help him, she couldn’t stop her eyes from wandering up to the yellow hat. She giggled.

  He scowled. “A very stupid idea.”

  “Not really.”

  Her voice was soft and placating, causing him to suspect she was lying. But she smiled, and even in the semi-dark garage, the car seemed to light up.

  “The purpose of the hat is for you to blend in.”

  “By looking like an idiot?”

  “You look like an average guy going to the mall with his kids.”

  “Average guys don’t wear stupid hats and look ridiculous.”

  “Of course they do.” She peeked over at him again. “How long has it been since you’ve been in the real world? Men wear baseball caps backwards and knit hats in the summer. Hats are the big way men make their fashion statements.”

  He snatched the offending yellow hat off his head. “Rappers wear knit caps and goofballs wear their baseball caps backwards. Mostly to cover bald spots. But my hair is perfectly fine as it is.”

  In the booster seat in the back Lacy giggled. “Not really, Daddy.”

  He looked in the mirror. The hat had reshaped his hair so that portions were sticking out at odd angles. He flattened it down with his hand. “There. Now, let’s go.”

  He’d be canceling this trip right now if Lacy’s eyes hadn’t lit with absolute astonishment when Ellie announced that they were going to the mall. Hell, why not get to the real bottom line? They wouldn’t be going to the mall at all if he didn’t feel like hell for treating Ellie harshly when she’d already had a difficult enough life.

  He was a goofball. And maybe he should put on the yellow hat.

  Mostly because he knew this wasn’t the end of it. He might not let Ellie taunt him into another foolish trip, but he would sometimes buckle under about stupid things for Lacy. She was a kid and he wanted her to have some semblance of a life. He most certainly wanted her to have fun. And going to the mall with her dad—as long as she stayed with her dad—wouldn’t be dangerous. Particularly since he had called Phil and company and told them to be at the mall at seven o’clock. They weren’t to wear dark suits with their shoulder harnesses exposed so everyone around could see they had a gun, but were to blend in.

  He glanced at the offending yellow hat on the compartment between him and Ellie. If hats were a way to blend, then Phil should be the one wearing this one.

  “The first thing we’re going to do is go to the food court,” Ellie said, turning on the front seat of the Suburban so she could speak to Lacy and Henry.

  Mac hid a grin. He had to admit he loved the way she kept Henry in the loop. The baby probably didn’t understand much beyond Daddy, eat and nap, but when Ellie spoke he stared at her with rapt fascination.

  “We’ll eat a hamburger and fries and then I understand there are three children’s stores on the first level.”

  Lacy gasped. “Can I get a princess dress?”

  Ellie glanced at him and he caught Lacy’s gaze in the rearview mirror. “Let’s wait and see what’s in the store.”

  “Ah, Dad!”

  “Princess dresses are typically found in toy stores,” Ellie jumped in, saving him. “They aren’t normal clothes. They’re special. When you put on a princess dress your imagination soars and you become anyone you want. At school, you have to be yourself so that you remember everything you learn and some of the things we might buy tonight would be for school.”

  Lacy nodded sagely as Mac drove them to the mall. Hundreds of multicolored cars were parked in long, rather organized rows. At first glance, he didn’t see an empty space. And he hadn’t instructed Phil to arrange for one.

  Of course, that would have defeated the purpose of the entire trip. If a bodyguard arranges with mall management to have orange cones in a front row spot until you arrive so you can be hustled in, everybody pretty much knows you’re somebody important. Pamela had loved that.

  But this trip was about seeing if they could blend, seeing if they could every once in a while take Lacy out into the world and let her observe how real people lived. It was about seeing if maybe—if they kept her profile low-key enough and if he secretly placed bodyguards inconspicuously around her—maybe she could go to the mall with her friends when she was in her teens. “Where to?”

  “Just drive around until we find an open space.”

  He nodded and they circled the mall twice, not finding a space close enough that they didn’t have to walk a distance to get into an entrance. By the fourth pass, he decided he would carry Lacy and Ellie could carry Henry, because they weren’t going to find a closer spot.

  They stepped into the noisy mall and Ellie directed him to the right. “It’s a bit of a walk, but the food court is this way.”

  Mac couldn’t help it; his head twisted from side to side, taking in the people as well as the building. Ellie was right. Real people did sometimes dress like goofballs. The atmosphere was almost like that of a carnival. They found the food court where Mac took a quick look around and saw Phil and three of his employees milling about. Phil wore a suit, but it was older and he let his jacket hang off the back of a white plastic chair where he sat eating a hamburger. Two of the other guards wore jeans and T-shirts. The third guy wore shorts and by damned if he wasn’t wearing a khaki fishing hat.

  Okay, so maybe Ellie hadn’t been too far off the mark about the ugly hat.

  Lacy ordered something called a “happy meal” and Mac and Ellie ordered salads. Then Ellie added a small order of fries for Henry.

  Though he’d never been to a mall, Mac had eaten fast food before. He hadn’t been particularly impressed, but for some reason or another, the scents from the food in this mall were amazing. Everything smelled delicious. When his s
tomach rumbled, he quickly added two hamburgers to his salad.

  When they were finished eating, Ellie directed them to the three stores stocked with children’s clothing. Lacy ran in, her mouth open with shock, her face registering pure, unadulterated feminine pleasure.

  He leaned over to Ellie and said, “This is going to cost me a pretty penny.”

  Ellie gaped in horror. “No! You don’t let her buy everything she wants. You tell her she can have two things.”

  Mac frowned. “Two things? There are hundreds of things in here.”

  “And she’ll never possibly be able to use them all. She already has a closet full of clothes. Plus, if you buy her everything she wants, she’ll have too much to appreciate it.”

  “But she’s never shopped on her own before.”

  “Which makes this a perfect time for her to learn to shop with care. Not to be greedy. To appreciate what she has.”

  “She’s only six.”

  Ellie shook her head and laughed. “Yes. Old enough to understand the lesson and young enough that you can still have the hope that the lesson will stick.”

  Mac pulled in a doubtful breath. “Okay. We’ll play it your way.”

  He turned to catch up with Lacy, who was skipping up the aisle of the colorful specialty shop, but Ellie caught his arm. Pinpricks of awareness raced to his shoulder, across his chest and down to his stomach. She looked beautiful in her light blue T-shirt and white shorts. Her legs were long and tan, her golden hair bouncy and shiny.

  “She’ll thank you for this when she’s older. She won’t see the world as a place to take. And if we carry this lesson a bit further we might also teach her that she should also give, not always get.”

  He caught the gaze of his housekeeper, knowing she’d been a foster kid, knowing someone had abused her, knowing she’d worked her way from nothing and still she had the common sense and intelligence of a true lady.

  Something warm squeezed his heart. Not only was she a lady, but she wanted his daughter to be a lady too. That was all any father really wanted. A daughter who appreciated what she had, gave as much as she got and acted like a lady.

  “Have I told you thank you for the suggestion to come to the mall?”

  “Mostly you groused about the hat.”

  “Well, thank you.” A sudden instinct to lean in and kiss her rose up in him. It was so strong that if they hadn’t been in a public place he sincerely doubted he would have been able to resist it.

  But they were in a public place and she was his employee. And she’d been abused by a former boss. She’d trusted an employer and he’d hurt her in the worst possible way. No matter what Mac wanted, no matter how tempted, no matter how much he told himself he would be different, he couldn’t forget her needs, her fear. He had to squelch any romantic urges.

  After ten minutes of Lacy rummaging through the racks, Ellie broke the news that she could choose two things.

  Lacy turned her pretty blue eyes up to her father. “Can’t I have more?”

  “Why do you need more?” Mac asked, taking his cue from Ellie who had told him that Lacy probably wouldn’t use everything she’d want to buy.

  “Because they’re all so pretty.”

  “And you already have lots of pretty clothes.”

  She stuck out her lower lip. “But I want these!”

  Mac’s heart rate sped up. His soul filled with remorse. He wanted to give Lacy everything she wanted. He knew it was wrong. He knew everything Ellie said was right. But, damn it, Lacy was his little girl. He was rich. She should have everything she wanted!

  “Lacy?” Ellie called to the little girl who looked on the verge of tears. “You don’t want to buy everything here. You might not want to buy anything here at all. We have two other stores to go to. What if the dresses in those stores are prettier?”

  Lacy’s face transformed from sulking to confusion. “There are more stores?”

  “Three. Remember?” She put her hand on Lacy’s shoulder and guided her out of the store. “You don’t simply want to buy everything. You want to buy the best, the prettiest. In the next store, I’ll show you how to look for something that suits the color of your eyes. We’re also going to think about where you’ll wear what you buy. You may see that you actually have nowhere to wear some things.” She shrugged. “So there’s no point to buying them.”

  Lacy’s face brightened with understanding. “Okay.”

  She skipped toward the entrance where two of Phil’s guys sat on a bench pretending to be holding a conversation. Knowing Lacy was safe, Mac turned to Ellie. “There’s some secret woman code in what you told her, right?”

  She laughed. “No. Just common sense.”

  They trooped to the second store. Lacy checked out the racks in a more judicious way. Mac had taken the baby so Ellie could help her, and he strolled down a nearby aisle.

  He’d never considered the time or money that went into purchasing things for his children. Mrs. Devlin had done all that. But now he didn’t have a nanny and he seriously wondered if there weren’t things he should be buying.

  After a few minutes, they found the third store. Lacy and Ellie went their way and Mac walked the aisles, looking at clothes for Henry, wondering if he needed new things and even what size he wore. Lacy chose a pair of capris with a new blouse and a brightly colored sundress.

  “Two outfits,” Ellie explained, telling Mac with her expression that he shouldn’t question that.

  “That’s great. They’re very… pretty,” he said at the last second because he wasn’t sure what to say.

  Ellie laughed. “We might want to pick up a pack or two of diapers,” she said as they approached the checkout lane.

  Mac pulled in a breath. “I wondered. We’ve been without a nanny for a while. You’ve worked for us almost two weeks and Mrs. Devlin left the week before that. Even if we had a stockpile of diapers, Henry has to be going through them fairly quickly.”

  Ellie chose the diapers and put them on the counter with Lacy’s things.

  “Does he need any clothes?”

  Ellie shook her head. “No, he’s fine for a few months. Then you may have to shop.”

  “By then I hope to have a real nanny.”

  A shadow passed over Ellie’s face and Mac instantly regretted his comment. “I didn’t mean to sound as if we’ll be relieved when you go. It’s more about getting our lives back to normal.”

  She glanced away. “I understand.”

  But he didn’t think she did understand. Her voice was soft, sad, as if she was accustomed to being unwanted, asked to leave. She turned and walked out of the store, Lacy chattering happily on her heels.

  Mac hung back, cursing in his head for his stupidity. He didn’t want her to leave. He wanted to keep her. But how could he? How could he ask her to give up a life she was building as an executive in a new company to become his permanent nanny? Worse, if she stayed too long, he knew he wouldn’t be able to resist her. Some moonlit night or sunny afternoon he’d kiss her…and he’d be no better than the boss who seduced her and then abused her.

  So she couldn’t stay.

  But he also wouldn’t let her spend the night feeling badly. As soon as the kids were in bed, Mac intended to explain how much he appreciated her, how much he wished he could keep her and maybe even why he couldn’t.

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  AFTER Mac had put the kids to bed, Ellie stepped out of the French doors onto the steps that would take her to the gazebo. She wasn’t sure what she was doing. She had no idea what she would say. But even though they’d had a great trip to the mall, she’d seen the bodyguards. She’d also sensed Mac’s fear. He might have taken Lacy and Henry out that night, but she sincerely doubted he’d do it again.

  The thought that he couldn’t see that they didn’t have to live in a prison wouldn’t let her alone. She had lived that prison. Plus, she was trained to help women transition out of abusive homes, and everything about this family reminded her of the families sh
e dealt with at A Friend Indeed. She’d be shirking her duties as A Friend Indeed volunteer if she didn’t try to help him.

  She tripped down the yellow steps and strolled past the pool. Cool night air swirled around her, indicating that a storm was probably rolling in.

  Passing the patio beyond the pool, she walked along the stone path to the gazebo where she paused just in front of the two steps that would take her inside, to where Mac sat.

  When she entered the gazebo he’d either think it was a coincidence that they’d gone to the same place, or he’d know she’d watched him come out here and followed him. Which was bad on so many levels. The only way she could comfort herself was to remind herself that she was trained to help spouses transition out of bad relationships. And if he needed her…

  She took the two steps up into the gazebo.

  Soft music greeted her. She didn’t recognize it. It wasn’t pop or rock or even a well-known classical song. Soft and mellow, it reminded her of a blues melody.

  “Hey.”

  He glanced up at her and rose from the chaise lounge. “Hey.”

  Showing him the baby monitor, she said, “I brought this so we could have a few minutes to talk.”

  His eyes narrowed. “You want to talk?”

  She nodded.

  “So do I.”

  “Then it looks like we’re on the same wavelength. You go first.”

  “No. You go first.”

  “All right. I thought the trip to the mall went very well tonight, but I sense that you weren’t comfortable and you might not do it again.”

  “Ellie, this isn’t a matter of me being uncomfortable. It’s a matter of safety.”

  “I understand that, but you can’t keep your kids in a bubble forever.”

  “I won’t.”

  She laughed lightly. “You’ll try.”

  “Of course, I’ll try. I’m a father. It’s what we do.”

  “But without a mom to argue the other side for your kids, you’re always going to win.”

  This time he laughed. “Actually, that’s what I wanted to talk about with you.”